Embracing the leader you’re not

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It’s just as important as the leader you are

March 10, 2025

The following was written by Scott Borba, superintendent/principal of Le Grand Union Elementary School District.

Let’s face it — when we talk about leadership, we’re usually talking about what we bring to the table: our vision, our strategies and our best game faces. But what if I told you that the key to being a truly effective leader isn’t just about who you are, but also about who you’re not?

Before you raise an eyebrow or roll your eyes, hear me out.

In my book, “The Leader You’re Not... and Why It’s Just as Important as the Leader You Are,” I explore the hidden strengths and humbling realities of leadership. Let’s dive into some lessons and, while we’re at it, keep it light. After all, if we can’t laugh at ourselves as school administrators, who will?

Embracing the leader you’re not First, let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room: You can’t be all things to all people. Not only is that exhausting, but it’s also downright impossible. Think about it. Have you ever tried to be the visionary, the tactician, the nurturer, the enforcer, the tech guru and the custodian all in one day? If you have, I’m guessing you also spent that evening questioning your life choices over a tub of ice cream.

The truth is, great leaders know their strengths — and, more importantly, they know their limits. They delegate, collaborate, and create spaces where others can shine. As a school administrator, this might mean letting your tech-savvy teacher lead the digital transformation while you focus on inspiring the team. Or perhaps it’s allowing your seasoned staff to mentor new hires rather than micromanaging every onboarding process. Leadership isn’t about doing it all; it’s about knowing when to step back and let others do what they do best.

Humor moment: You don’t have to be the expert in everything. Case in point: I once tried to “fix” a school’s malfunctioning PA system. Let’s just say the fire alarm went off during morning announcements. (Pro tip: Call the professional.)

The power of saying ‘I don’t know’ Admit it: How many times have you faked your way through an answer because you thought, “As a leader, I’m supposed to know this”? Well, I’m here to liberate you. You don’t have to know everything — and admitting you don’t can actually strengthen your credibility.

When faced with a tough question, saying “I don’t know, but I’ll find out” shows vulnerability and integrity. It also invites collaboration. As a leader, you’re not expected to have all the answers, but you are expected to find them. And sometimes, the best way to find them is by leaning on the expertise of your team.

Humor moment: One time, a kindergartner asked me, “Why is the sky blue?” My response? “Ask your teacher. They’re the real genius here.” Delegation at its finest.

Leadership isn’t about perfection; it’s about perseverance.

The leader who listens Here’s a hard truth: Just because you’re in charge doesn’t mean you’re the smartest person in the room. (I’ll pause while you recover from that revelation.)

Listening is one of the most underrated skills in leadership. And I don’t just mean nodding while mentally reviewing your to-do list. I mean really listening — putting down your phone, making eye contact and absorbing what’s being said.

As school administrators, we often get caught up in the whirlwind of policies, schedules and endless emails. But taking the time to truly listen — whether it’s to a teacher sharing a new idea, a student voicing a concern or a parent venting their frustrations — can make all the difference. Listening shows respect, builds trust and often leads to solutions you wouldn’t have thought of on your own.

Humor moment: During a particularly long PTA meeting, I decided to practice my listening skills. Turns out, I’d accidentally volunteered to organize the next bake sale. Moral of the story: Listening is great, but maybe clarify before nodding enthusiastically.

The importance of ‘no’ Leadership often comes with the misguided notion that we must say “yes” to everything. Yes to every new initiative. Yes to every parent request. Yes to every extracurricular program. But here’s the thing: Saying yes to everything means you’re saying no to something else — often your time, energy or sanity.

Learning to say “no” is one of the most empowering tools in a leader’s arsenal. It’s not about being difficult; it’s about being discerning. A well-placed “no” can protect your team from burnout, ensure you’re focusing on what truly matters, and set clear boundaries.

Humor moment: I once said yes to hosting a “fun run” without realizing it involved me wearing a mascot costume. Trust me, that’s a mistake you only make once.

Laughing at yourself Let’s talk about one of the most underrated leadership traits: a sense of humor. If you can’t laugh at the absurdities of school leadership, you’re in for a long and stressful ride.

Leadership isn’t about perfection; it’s about perseverance. You’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to have moments when you feel like you’re barely keeping it together. And that’s OK. The key is to find the humor in those moments and keep moving forward.

Humor moment: Like the time I accidentally forwarded a GIF-filled email chain to the school board. Let’s just say my “oops” face is now legendary.

Building a team that complements your ‘not’ Remember, being the leader you’re not doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re human. The smartest leaders surround themselves with people who fill in the gaps — team members who bring skills, perspectives and strengths that you don’t have.

As a school administrator, this might mean hiring an assistant who thrives on spreadsheets while you focus on the big picture. Or partnering with a curriculum specialist who knows the latest trends while you work on community engagement. The goal isn’t to do it all; it’s to build a team that can.

Humor moment: One of my best hires was a secretary who’d gently remind me when my tie didn’t match my shirt. She saved me from countless fashion faux pas — and probably a few memes.

Embrace the ‘not’ The leader you’re not is just as important as the leader you are. It’s the part of you that keeps you humble, reminds you to listen, and pushes you to build a strong team. It’s what keeps you grounded in the reality that leadership isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present.

So, as you navigate the challenges and joys of school leadership, remember to embrace the leader you’re not. Celebrate your strengths, own your limitations, and always — always — keep a sense of humor. After all, in the grand adventure of education, laughter truly is the best lesson.

Final thought: If all else fails, just remember: There’s nothing a well-timed coffee break can’t fix. Cheers to leading, learning and laughing along the way!