These times are incredibly challenging for educators. As leaders we are dealing with the aftermath of COVID and all the anxiety and uncertainty it has brought. After 45 years in education as a teacher, principal, adjunct professor, author and coach to administrators, there are some highlights I would like to share. These highlights are not about curriculum or AI, but rather how to utilize emotional intelligence to create a joyous and engaging school environment. These words of wisdom from three authors have given me strength.

Maya Angelou Many of the people who have inspired me the most are writers and thinkers with deep insights. I will start with Maya Angelou. She said, “People may forget what you said. People may forget what you did. But people never forget how you made them feel.” With staff, students, and families we have the opportunity to make them feel valued, seen and nurtured. This begins with deep listening and developing empathy. It continues as we respond to many situations, not with a punitive approach, but with a restorative justice lens.

Think of a situation where someone took the time to show confidence in you and build you up. It is an amazing feeling that we often pay forward. When I was just beginning my education career I still remember a mentor who met with me weekly and listened to my questions and concerns. Her caring presence was instrumental in my choosing to go forward in the field of education. As a leader in your school or district, when you take the time to affirm others, you are creating a powerful legacy.

Don Miguel Ruiz Next, as a leader I would embrace “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. The four agreements are:

The agreements are eloquent and wise. I will highlight two agreements. First, do not take things personally. Not taking things personally will help us stay focused and reflective. Homework is an example. Some families may want more homework and some families may want less homework. Hearing the concerns from families and teachers, but not taking the various viewpoints personally, will lead to the most fair and equitable policy. Secondly, when Ruiz says don’t make assumptions, these are very wise words. I honestly think some of the decisions I regret were because I did not take time to clarify my assumptions. As a school leader, at whatever level, when you take time to clarify assumptions you are most likely to make the wisest decisions.

Stephen Covey Finally, I would emphasize Stephen Covey’s “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” This book is filled with wisdom that can be applied to many situations. For several years I taught an educational leadership class based on Covey’s principles. I will always remember one student who said, “Learning and using these principles has transformed my life.”

I will emphasize two principles here. First, “Begin with the end in mind.” Change takes time and sometimes there are unintended consequences. What is the change you want? Perhaps it is to have the third grade team create a professional learning community. How will you make this goal transparent? What are the steps to accomplish this? How do teachers and other staff view the steps? How will you determine when you have reached this goal? By working thoughtfully and reflecting on each step your goal can be accomplished.

The second goal I will emphasize is “Seek first to understand.” When you listen deeply to others and understand their perspectives, many challenging situations diminish. Often people just want to be heard. We live in a society not attuned to listening. I have dealt with families that have come to school very upset. Perhaps it was a discipline situation where they felt their child was not treated fairly. By listening carefully I gained valuable information and by the end of the conversation, often the situation seemed much smaller and we could work on solutions.

Finally, as I look back on my career, the word “belonging” jumps out. We all want to belong. As educators, how can we draw the circle wide and make sure it embraces all of our staff, students, and families? How can everyone shine?

As educators our impact is immense. May the words of Angelou, Ruiz, and Covey inspire! May our districts and schools be places of joy.

Rebecca Wheat, Ed.D., has more than 40 years of experience in education, including service as a teacher, principal, adjunct professor, and coach to principals.