Who’s your hype woman?
Conference makes space for women leaders to uplift and encourage one another
October 2, 2023
They learned how to be intentional about inclusion. They picked up strategies for dealing with “mansplaining.” They practiced being a hype woman. They felt “seen.”
These are just some of the ways the 300 attendees at ACSA’s Women in School Leadership Forum became more effective leaders at this year’s conference, held Sept. 20-22 in Newport Beach.
Planning Committee Chair Marian Kim Phelps welcomed attendees and spoke about this year’s theme: “Leading, Lifting and Leaving a Legacy.”
“I really hope at the end of these two days that you guys walk out feeling lifted up, feeling supported and have had a chance to meet some new colleagues that can help you get through this job, because it is a hard job that we all do in this room, and it doesn’t matter what your title is,” she said.
ACSA President Parvin Ahmadi also addressed attendees, paying homage to the women of Iran for risking their lives to fight for the equal rights of women. Ahmadi asked attendees to also remember the ordinary women around us who make this world a better place.
“We have to remember to lift each other up, to mentor our young people, and we must speak up when we see other women facing challenges because they have done courageous things for children,” she said.
Here are a few other moments witnessed during this year’s conference.
Prismatic leaders: Keynote Genein Letford presented her “7 Gems of Intercultural Creativity” — skills that leaders can develop to be more creative and culturally competent.
“You’re literally surrounded by rainbow light, but you can’t see it. Why? You need a prism,” Letford said. “[Prismatic leaders] are those leaders who are able to take the light of your students and colleagues and see the hidden gifts and abilities sometimes that they don’t even see in themselves.”
Emotional regulation: Co-presenters Jacqueline Duncan and Tiffanee Reynolds shared that the “secret sauce” to a positive school culture is a leader’s ability to regulate their emotions. They had attendees think of scenarios — like showing up to work to find eight staff members have called out or seeing a teacher get visibly upset during an evaluation — and practice recognizing how these triggering events appear in their bodies.
“See your best self responding to that situation, then act,” Duncan said.
Mock interviews: Attendees were able to schedule time to have a mock interview with former superintendents Carmella Franco, Suzette Lovely and Janet Morey. Franco and Lovely currently work with search firms to hire district leaders in California. Morey is also on ACSA’s Member Assistance and Legal Support Team.
Lovely advised one interviewee to never talk about what you don’t have: “Women often undersell ourselves. We talk them out of hiring us!”
Hee-Jin Peterson, a principal from Poway USD, said she appreciated the mock interview panel’s feedback on how to tell her story during an interview.
“You never have an opportunity to speak with three former superintendents, two who are professionally supporting and choosing leaders in our state,” Peterson said. “You practice with friends, you practice in the mirror, but to have that kind of feedback … I can’t say enough about this. These few minutes I’ll remember forever.”
Women leaders of color: At a session titled “Do we really belong?”, attendees shared the challenges they experience as women of color leading school districts: being passed up for jobs, silenced, gaslighted, or serving as the token women of color.
“What are we going to do? And I say ‘we’ and I freakin’ mean it,” said co-presenter Diann Kitamura. “This work is collective work. We have to do this together, because the pull of the white privilege power is to divide us, is to keep us in the structures that have already been created.”
Co-presenter Eveline Huh encouraged attendees to interrupt when they see women of color being silenced. Co-presenter Shana Henry also spoke about how to give effective feedback.
“She’s so feisty. She’s a little submissive. She’s aggressive,” Henry said, giving examples of biased feedback. “So when you approach feedback, what’s the intention? Is it to help them personally develop and grow? Because if it’s not, they don’t need it.”
Proving yourself: ACSA Executive Director Edgar Zazueta shared data that female leaders are more common in interim superintendent roles than their male counterparts and lamented this disparity.
“It’s this whole notion of you have to prove yourself before we give you the permanent job,” he said.Zazueta also noted that superintendents who have been dismissed from their jobs recently have been predominantly female. While they did not claim gender was the reason for their firing, Zazueta said those superintendents he spoke with said, “As a female leader, it only made it harder.”
Exemplary Woman in Education Award: Ceres USD Superintendent Denise Wickham was honored with ACSA’s 2023 Exemplary Woman in Education Award. Wickham acknowledged former winners of the award for paving the way for all women to “lead in our own way.”
When Wickham wrote her doctoral thesis on the gender gap in the superintendency, she said women made up 18 to 20 percent of superintendents. Thirteen years later, that number is 44 percent.
“Never in my wildest dreams did I believe that this would be possible,” Wickham told attendees. “Our work is so important to provide quality and equitable education for more young people, for more young women so that they can dream bigger and do things that they also never thought possible.”
Who’s your hype woman?: In the session “Keep Rising: The Power of Connection & Collaboration,” co-presenters Heidi Baker, Renae Bryant and Margarita Cuizon-Armelino shared how important it is to network with women, not just for your social-emotional life, but your professional life, too.
“Your network is your net worth,” Baker said.
When she Googled “hype woman,” Bryant found the image of Jamie Lee Curtis leaping out of her seat at the 2023 Academy Awards when co-star Michelle Yeoh became the first Asian woman to win the Oscar for best actress in a leading role.
“We should all be as excited when it’s happening to her as if it’s happening to us,” Bryant said.
She encouraged attendees to find a colleague and say: “I want you to be my Jamie Lee Curtis, and I’ll be your Jamie Lee Curtis, too.”
Baker, Bryant and Cuizon-Armelino had attendees practice strategies for amplifying each other’s work, pushing back on unreasonable requests and what to do if a female colleague gets “mansplained” in a meeting.
Intentional legacy: Keynote Jacquelyn Wieland closed the conference by asking women leaders to be intentional about the legacy they want to leave behind.
“There’s the story you tell and the story you want told,” she said. “Whatever narrative you are running in your head is impacting how you’re showing up. Whatever your self-talk is, that is what is holding you back or it’s what’s moving you forward.”
Attendee experiences: Marisa Meeks, chief operations officer at Great Valley Academy, was attending her first ACSA conference. She said the session on “Leading with a Coaching and Mentoring Mindset” gave her valuable information she could implement with her direct reports Monday morning.
“I don’t think that I’ve ever felt so empowered before by other strong female educators.”
— Felicia Iglesias, Assistant principal, Poway USD
“It was on how to ask those questions that actually bring value to the conversation and to the connection,” she said. “Our direct reports don’t want us to fix it for them, they want that opportunity to do that, and we just need to find out how to support them.”
Felicia Iglesias, an assistant principal in Poway USD, just moved to California and said the solidarity she felt at the conference was something she lacked in New York.
“I don’t think that I’ve ever felt so empowered before by other strong female educators,” she said. “I’m a young mom. I’m new to Poway. So many people have been pulling me aside and being like, you got this. You can do this. It’s really cool to grow that capacity and know, wow — there’s so many strong women behind me.”
Self-care tips for women leaders in education
One session at the Women in School Leadership Forum was a panel discussion on self-care moderated by Marian Kim Phelps that featured Donya Ball, Simone Charles, Jay Adams and Erin Simon. Here’s just some of the advice these leaders had to share.
Have one unscheduled weekend per month. (Erin Simon, assistant superintendent, Long Beach USD) Simon shared that her 10-year-old and 18-year-old know that one weekend a month, their dad takes them to the mall or the movies. “They know Mommy’s going to have some time by herself just to disconnect and get myself and my mind together.” Simon also shared how stress has impacted her health and how she found ways to reprioritize her life-work balance. “I had to learn how to rest,” she said.
Do what brings you joy. (Simone Charles, principal, Los Angeles USD) Charles advised women to not feel guilty about self-care and to find their joy. “For me, it’s laughter,” she said. “If something can make me smile, can make me happy, I try to spread that and share that.” She shared one way to spread joy is by complimenting someone on their hair or outfit. “Bring that joy to them so they can bring it back to you,” she said.
Involve your kids in your work. (Jay Adams, principal, Fountain Valley ESD) At one point, Adams was a middle school principal and a single mom of four kids ages 7 and younger. “I thought, how am I going to do this? … I have 700 kids at work and four at home, it’s just crazy making.” Adams said she would dress her youngest in a tiger Halloween costume and bring her to school dances to be a junior mascot. The older kids would do things like sell popcorn. “They felt like they were doing things of service, too, but they were still involved with Mom.”
Give yourself grace. (Donya Ball, superintendent, The Academies Charter Management Organization) Ball advised women to prioritize not just grit, but grace. “We are our own worst critics – we don’t give ourselves a break.” Ball said women put so much pressure on themselves as moms, wives and leaders, that when they can’t attend their kids’ swim meet or have to leave a meeting early “we are so upset with ourselves because we’re not giving ourselves grace.”